Control Your Perception
Here it is 1:30am and the day has been if nothing thought-provoking. I woke up after a decent night of sleep and went to work at Kaiser. As a psych nurse for Kaiser Permanente, I work on the phone lines talking to people who have problems and even helping them solve a few.
The Catalyst for Change
I had a discussion with a member (patient) of Kaiser Permanente where I was able to give my insights on life and stress, and imparted some strategies on how to recharge the mental batteries. I have realized that in life, we need separations from the day-to-day. I shared my thoughts on how to achieve a complete detachment from the rest of the world and its troublesome grip on us. I explained how important it is, when we take mini-vacations not to dwell on the little stressors that bog us down. By not focusing on the when and where, and just being, we are able to detach ourselves from the insignificant and open ourselves up to the realization that we have no control. By trying to control even the smallest of things we think we can control on a daily basis, we set ourselves up for accumulation of stress. We spend our lives trying to control that which is out of our control when the only thing we really can control is our perception. How we see a situation and not the situation itself. This innate human response of controlling our environment down to the simplest of details sets us up for failure. We need to re-learn our brains to not impulse control. This was the basis of my conversation with this patient.
Practice What You Preach
I began to think about this. Do I truly practice what I know to be true? The answer is, yes and no. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I do not. It seems that my life is going in a direction where I am finding myself more in tuned when I am trying to control, and at times, I can control perception and realize when I am trying to control the situation. But other times I cannot. I suppose this is a matter of practice.
There is no right or wrong
While speaking today with a co-worker and friend, I realized a few things as well. We spoke about a recent trip this person had taken and the experiences she had. There are things in this world that we cannot understand and forces at work that are stronger and older than we can possibly comprehend. In certain rare circumstances the words that come out of my mouth are somehow inspired as if I am not saying them this is what I uttered with little pre-thought "There is no right or wrong." The path I am on, and the path she is on, are two different paths of enlightenment and discovery. Is my path any better than hers? Is my path any more interesting or developed than hers? Albeit her path is similar in ways, it is very different. We all have paths that we must follow. None of which is right or wrong, good or bad, edifying or destructive. They simply are. She then stated that there is no right or wrong, only consequences.
I began to focus on the consequences of my path. Is selling everything I own, quitting a job I really loved, and traveling the world in search of something not yet discovered, going to yield consequences that are unfavorable? I really realized that I have no control over the consequences; therefore I shouldn't entertain the possible scenarios that cloud my head, scenarios that I have no control over. I need to stop trying to control. The fact of the matter is... I don't know what is in store for me. I don't know the where my path is taking me.
Lately I have been experiencing a little anxiety related to how I will finance my travels. Here it is one month before we are slated to leave the world we have grown accustomed to.. and we feel unprepared. So I should be freaking out by now, right? I'm not. Somehow, I feel like I have little control over any of it, and in all reality... I have no control. All I can control is how I mentally perceive my situation where it stands today.
Change of Perspective
I feel liberated today. Happy and at peace. Somehow I know that things will work out, and I will make it through. This is the benefit of not controlling my surroundings. Peace. Which is where I stand now at 2am writing this blog post with the hopes that someday, someone, reads this and realizes that they might be going through similar obstacles... and feels some peace from this.